Ms. Train Wreck Discovers She is a General American

I have been in Cleveland for 3 years as of August 1, 2005, that is 10% of my life and apparently 10% of my language. I miss the Great State of New York...

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Dixie

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Ms. Train Wreck is Superior but is David Sedaris

I don’t have wisdom teeth. I haven’t had them removed either. I just never got them. My dentist back in B-lo told me I was superior because of it. A product of superior evolution I suppose. She went on to tell me that I should tell people that. I have mentioned it a few times but until now had forgotten about it.

As a child my grandparents would drive my sister and me to FL to see my mother. We would listen to NPR the entire way. I hated it as a child because I just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t listen to Def Leppard. I regress. I vividly remember listening to The Santaland Diaries and being mildly amused. Mildly amused only because I was a teenager at the time and that was all I could muster.

I have since become a David Sedaris groupie and have now seen him twice and had him sign books for me twice. I saw David Sedaris last week at Joseph Beth Bookstore. I had trouble finding a book for him to sign as most of my books are packed away. I madly searched my bookshelves and found Barrel Fever. An old BF had lent it to me to read. Thanks JC – if you need it back I will buy you a new one but you may not have yours back.

Anyhow, David was talking about the superiority he feels when completing a New York Times crossword puzzle and I wondered if that was the same sort of superiority that I have, never having had my wisdom teeth come in.

Has Everyone Recently Gained Weight

It seems everyone I talk to these days has just recently gained weight. I never know what to say when people tell me that. I am not sure why people tell me that they just recently gained weight and a mere 6 months ago were 40 pounds lighter. I am inclined to think that there are many people in this world that lie about their weight. Not that the mean to lie to me necessarily but maybe they are lying to themselves about how they got to their particular state and are looking for affirmation.